The world of sexually over charged socially incompetent young men oh sorry I meant online dating

I’m a romantic, heart and soul, a romantic. Yes I know….blah yuck ew. For a long time I denied it, to the world and to myself but in my year of trying new things I will admit, I am a romantic. My favourite movie, as I may have mentioned before, is Amelie. I think it is the combination of the amazing cinematography and an enchanting fairy tale like story.  So it’s no surprise that in life my ideals often reflect those of such mentioned romance and it is then no surprise that I am sadly disappointed.

I tried online dating for a little while, trying to find my Patrick Swayze (okay yes I love Dirty Dancing too), only to be met with an overload of emotional baggage and sexually over charged, socially incompetent young men. There were definitely nice guys on there, don’t get me wrong but sometimes I had to wonder if the nice guys out weigh the socially incompetent ones. I admit I was a bit of a chat whore with many conversations cascading my screen at once, with most of them ending in my dishing out heartbreak advice to guys who weren’t quite over their ex and a little too afraid to get back out in the real world. However one guy really caught my attention with his amazingly well thought through pick up line which I believe went a little something like this…

‘Hi. Do you give head?’

My reaction was, well let me give you a multiple choice just to make it a bit easier for you to guess:

a) oh wow, yes I love it, we should definitely date. Whats your number? We could even hook up tonight if your free.

b) umm…do you really think that is an appropriate question for someone you just met?

Seriously boys where is the love?! Lift your game, is that all you’ve got? It’s like a man with large  (please refer to Season 1 Episode 4 of New Girl). Just because it is big doesn’t automatically make it good. You have to put in some effort. Geez (I am only qualified to say such things due to a short period in my life where I may have thought I was Chelsea Handler (a tamer version of Chelsea may I add!).

I don’t mean to deter anyone out there from online dating. I am still in full support of anyone who is thinking of giving it a go! I’m just not advocating for online dating = romance + soulmates.

I have dated a variety of men, online and off. I have learnt many lessons including…no I wont pay your rent, no just because I like you doesn’t mean you can ask to visit me for head (seems to be a reoccurring theme…?),  no it’s not okay that you drink a carton of beer and smoke a bag of weed before we go on a date, no I don’t want to go to your home country to meet your parents we have only been on one date and no, no no I do not want you to send me mobile phone pictures of your…(please refer to Season 1 Episode 4 of New Girl). Seriously though I have genuinely learnt from each and every one of my dates/flings/ boyfriends. I must thank each of them because without these experiences I would not have realised my worth and I would not be where I am today (single and eating baked beans on toast, gourmet style).

John William Waterhouse

For all the bad dates and disastrous relationships, every now and then, there is someone who comes along and just captures your heart by complete surprise. These are the moments I have almost given up on. It’s those ones that you feel like you have known for years, lifetimes even. When you are with them it is like being surrounded by a giant bubble, just you two. Trapped in a bubble that you could happily stay in forever but are these really the ones that are supposed to last?  After the romance and the lust dust has settled is it just back to 9-5 reality? Or are these the moments in life that we should try and hold on to at any cost?

As you can see my heart is quite disturbed this week as it re-opens to the possibility of love, even though I am still unsure what that means.

What is love and does romance serve any purpose other than to fuel heart wrenching 80s power ballads and aesthetically pleasing cinema?